Learning How to Free Ourselves
Top Reads: The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Friedan
The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, published in 1963, is a groundbreaking book that critiqued the idealized image of women’s roles in mid-20th century America. Friedan argued that the societal expectations placed on women to find fulfillment solely through homemaking, marriage, and motherhood led to widespread dissatisfaction and a sense of unfulfillment.
“It is not possible to preserve one's identity by adjusting for any length of time to a frame of reference that is in itself destructive to it. It is very hard indeed for a human being to sustain such an 'inner' split - conforming outwardly to one reality, while trying to maintain inwardly the value it denies.”
Key themes and messages of the book include:
The "Feminine Mystique": Friedan coined the term "feminine mystique" to describe the idealized image of women that dominated American culture at the time. This mystique promoted the idea that a woman's ultimate fulfillment and purpose were to be found in her roles as a wife and mother, and that career ambitions or personal aspirations were secondary or unnecessary.
The Unspoken Discontent of Women: Friedan uncovered the widespread sense of discontent among suburban housewives who, despite having material comfort, felt unfulfilled and frustrated. Many women were experiencing a deep sense of emptiness, which was ignored or misunderstood by society. Friedan called this "the problem that has no name."
The Limitations of Traditional Gender Roles: Friedan criticized the narrow definition of women's roles and the way it stifled their potential. She argued that society’s emphasis on domesticity and child-rearing as the sole purpose for women kept them from pursuing education, careers, and personal growth, which were avenues for fulfillment and self-actualization.
Psychological and Social Consequences: Friedan examined the psychological impact of these limiting roles, noting that women were often treated as second-class citizens, relegated to the private sphere while men were empowered in the public sphere. She argued that this inequality was harmful to both women and society as a whole.
The Call for Change: Friedan urged women to recognize the artificial constraints placed upon them and to pursue broader opportunities outside the home. She advocated for women’s education, workforce participation, and involvement in public life, encouraging them to challenge the traditional expectations and embrace a fuller range of experiences.
“A woman today who has no goal, no purpose, no ambition patterning her days into the future, making her stretch and grow beyond that small score of years in which her body can fill its biological function, is committing a kind of suicide.”
In summary, The Feminine Mystique is a critical examination of the cultural pressures that defined women’s roles in the 1950s and 1960s. Friedan's book helped spark the second wave of feminism by shedding light on the widespread dissatisfaction of women and advocating for their liberation from restrictive societal norms. It played a key role in the feminist movement by encouraging women to seek personal fulfillment, equality, and autonomy beyond traditional gender roles.
“Men weren’t really the enemy — they were fellow victims suffering from an outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate when there were no bears to kill.”
To see this book in the context of the others that have been most pivotal for me, check out My Top Shelf Reads.