The Reconciliation of Our Sovereignty

Relationships Matter

Photo by Alex Shute on Unsplash

Tonight I accompanied my daughter to church for her First Reconciliation.

And my first one since my First Reconciliation many decades ago.

As I sat in the church, watching with some surprise the range of ages and faces in line to share their repentance with the priest, seeking absolution and grace, both the beauty and the form of it all struck my heart.

First Reconciliation, also known as the Sacrament of Penance or Confession, is a significant religious milestone in the Catholic faith. It is typically the first time a child or individual receives the sacrament of forgiveness from a priest. During this sacrament, the person confesses their sins to a priest, expresses true contrition, and receives absolution, which restores their relationship with God and the Church. This sacrament is often received before First Holy Communion and marks an important step in a Catholic's spiritual journey.

It's a moment of grace, reflection, and renewal, emphasizing God's mercy and love.

I’ve struggled with what I would confess in the weeks leading up to this evening. ‘Sin’ isn’t something that feels personal to me. Maybe it’s my self-defensive-guilt-being-raised-Catholic box that I’ve packed it into. But I’ve been through the dismantling of my faith and find myself currently in the restoration. I’ve identified the characteristic cultishness of don’t-defile-our-status-quo judgements of others.

I’ve come of age in an era of self-development and self-improvement practices, tied up in aspirational goal-setting and self-love practices. What would I confess as a sin? It’s a lot to overcome when I have an inborn sense of privacy and reluctance to “shoot the shit” with perfect strangers in the intimacy of delving into my personal failings. If I was writing in my journal, or confiding self-reflections with a friend, that feels authentic.

But I also find myself appreciating a form that anoints another who has studied Scriptures, who is taught to take the longform version of human development, to bestow this exchange with the sacredness of Sacrament. I’m moved by the formality of a ritual that offers space for self-reflection and examination, of confessing our awareness of where we fall short, again, of who we hope to be. And receiving acknowledgement of grace through our penitence and desire to do better.

Part of me is deeply moved to see these people from my small community still showing up to share a ritual designed to bring us back to consciousness of our humanity.

Yet part of me feels also the resonance with Anthroposophic leader and founder Rudolf Steiner’s warnings of the emptiness that results from performing rituals without genuine spiritual substance. (The same guy who established a spiritual philosophy in the early 20th century, emphasizing the exploration of an intellectually comprehensible spiritual world. His teachings have influenced various fields, including education (Waldorf), agriculture (biodynamic farming), and medicine.)

I shared with the priest my struggle. As inner reflection in church always seem to do anymore, my telling brought tears up from my heart.

He was wise and on-point with his suggestion for penance. He echoed what wise people have shared before. Insight that bears repeating.

As we drove home, I wondered why do I feel impelled to bring these sacraments to my child? I thought of my mother, the prayers I remember her saying when the struggle was at it’s most unrelenting. I imagine how often we must have figured in her prayer life, as our mother.

Then I became aware of a favorite Paramore song my pre-adolescent daughter was playing at that exact moment… “Don't go crying to your mama, 'Cause you're on your own in the real world”

I don't mind
Letting you down easy, but just give it time
If it don't hurt now then just wait, just wait a while
You're not the big fish in the pond no more
You are what they're feeding on

So what are you gonna do
When the world don't orbit around you?
So what are you gonna do
When the world don't orbit around you?

Ain't it fun?
Living in the real world
Ain't it good?
Being all alone

Where you're from
You might be the one who's running things
Where you can ring anybody's bell and get what you want
See it's easy to ignore trouble
When you're living in a bubble

Ain't it good to be on your own?
Ain't it fun? You can't count on no one
Ain't it good to be on your own?
Ain't it fun? You can't count on no one
Ain't it fun?
Living in the real world

Don't go crying to your mama
'Cause you're on your own in the real world

What do we choose when we’re on our own?

These days I’m choosing to engage in the tenets that held my mother up through her era that I am now in. I’m bringing a faith to my child, I’m modeling activities I would never do on my own, to show her how to do them, in case it feeds her, whether she realizes it or not. As it was done for me, but as I can do it now, in my own era.

And +

I’m building my community with others who have come to this river as well, who appreciate the cosmic concept of Jesus, of divine grace, mercy, and restoration from a place of Sovereign self-identity. Not because we feel we must, but because we desire to do so. Because they, with me, appreciate a vocabulary that integrates our spiritual development with a meaningful community practice.

“We are a diverse fellowship of spiritual leaders from many backgrounds following a cyclical path of spiritual growth called The Sovereign Way.”

We want people to feel free, equipped, and sovereign.

Join us Mondays, April 14th - June 16th for a meeting of similar souls in studying the Eight Masteries of The Oasis, a weekly online study group. All sessions are recorded so you can participate in the way that suits you best.

The Sovereign Way’s Oasis

A weekly group session to train the mindset and vibration for sovereignty, using successive distinctions from The Sovereign Way. It is also a resource for teachings, meditations and prayer support.

I’ll be leading the second Mastery this next rotation!